Courage

Mary Anne Radmacher said

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”

Any of you who regularly receive emails from me know that I have a bible verse about courage as my signature. What many of you might not know is that this is not an attempt on my part to encourage the recipients of my emails. I’m far more selfish than that. This is a feeble attempt to remind myself, every time I write an email, to be courageous and rest in the power of my great God. And it’s a good thing it’s there because I still have significant fears multiple times a day.

As I work my way through three more graduate school applications I’m often overcome with fear. I fear that these admissions committees will see me as a low achieving student rather than an overcomer. I fear that my hopes and dreams will once again be denied. I fear that I will fail.

This Mary Anne Radmacher quote is a perfect way to describe the courage I’ve been striving for these past few weeks. This courage is not great or bold or loud. I am not taking on oppressors or slaying dragons or saving lives. I’m just choosing each day to try again.

PS – I know my God is great. But I don’t understand why my great God has not moved mountains to make my dreams come true. This sounds incredibly selfish and childish, I know. If you want to pray for me that’d be great. I know there are injustices and misfortunes in the world much greater than my not getting into graduate school but I still would like to ask you to pray on my behalf. Pray that God’s will would prevail in my life (as if anything could stop it, ha!). Pray that I would have wisdom in my search. And maybe pray that I would be slightly less selfish. Thanks friends.

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