Roller Coasters

I couldn’t figure what to title tonight’s post, but roller coasters keep coming up in my life. My parents are currently, as I’m writing this, riding one on a beach in Maine. Luke Bryan’s song “Rollercoaster” is making me teary eyed every time it comes on the radio. Also, in case that last revelation was not a clear enough indicator, I have been an emotional roller coaster this week. Notice that I did not say I’d been on one, but rather that I have been one. Being on a roller coaster implies that there is some outside stimulus that is at fault for your tumult. Such is not the case with me this week. Obviously I’ve been influenced by my experiences of life but there was no traumatic inciting incident, rather just the perfect storm of circumstances to result in well…..a roller coaster.

Sunday – feelings get hurt

Monday + Tuesday – try to hold it together (i.e. in)

Wednesday – emotional eruption on massive scale

Thursday – host community group, try to keep it together

Friday – Ear infection!!

Saturday – NOTHING

Self-care has been crucial in surviving this week. And as you might have noticed (due to my massive meltdown) it wasn’t exactly a raging success, but it’s Saturday night, which means I’ve survived.

Today’s self-care involved resting, a lot, which is exactly what my body needed. But it left me feeling lonely and down. I planned on watching a funny movie (or two) and then crashing. But I realized that would leave me feeling just as empty as I started. So I tried to come up with ways I could rest my body but also pour into my heart and soul. I called one of my best friends from college and we chatted about life, my week, her week, and all of a sudden I felt less alone.

In the middle of Wednesday night’s madness I spoke to a wise woman. She said something that’s stuck with me. She said “Annie, we can live on very little, we really can.” She was referring to stuff, and she’s right. So tonight’s self care looks like listening to my favorite country summer songs and blogging. Because what my soul needs tonight is a little inspiration and to create, to make something exist that didn’t exist before. Even though it’s just this blog post it has made my heart happy to create something. Something that I can share with you. And in this case, something that enables me to share my life with you. Because that’s really what all of my weeks redeeming moments were about. They were about someone stepping onto my roller coaster and riding it with me, even though they didn’t have to. Here’s to not having to ride roller coasters alone!

roller coaster

 

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